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One day, I was watching porn. Then a man came up to my door and humped it. I opened the semen covered door and he started talking to me."Hello fucker! My name is Mr. Tortellinie! Want to try some of my men?" i said "Men? What the fuck are talking about?" "Where i came from, Men means pasta!" Wow, Some guy wanted to give me pasta covered in piss and shit. "No." I slammed the door on him and he said "Okay! See you later......BITCH!". I jumped out my my window and got in my car. I drove to My Assmart, My Assmart sells stuff and things. When i looked at the cashier, He looked oddly familiar."CIAO! WANT TO BUY SOME CONDOMS!" It was Mario Tortellinie! "Um..... Hi." I then ran to FuckLand. Mario was standing there...... MENACINGLY! "Hello!Can i interest you with a penis sucking?" He was drunk! Then i ran to the nope train. The next station was fuck it town. Mario was at the train station. "We meet again *Insert name here*!" How did he know my name, rank and serial number! I then rented a hover board and hovered to..... Chuck E. Cheeses? Eh, whatever. I entered and "Chuck E." was at the door. Chuck E. took off his head. "Hello! Can i help you?" What the fuck! it was Mario! "Why are you following me!" i said. "Because your sexy!" Mario said. I blacked out. When i got to the hospital, I saw the doctor. The doctor was Mario Tortellinie. What a shock! "What the hell are you doing here!" i said. "I thought this was a convention." Mario said. A week later i got released from the hospital. I went to my friends house and i went upstairs to fuck her right in the pussy. "Dinners ready!". The voice sounded so familiar.....When we went downstairs after having sex, I saw Mario Tortellinie! * Dun Dun DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!* I ran out the door and drove away with my sexy girlfriend. We drove to a hotel and rented a room. When we got there, We had a bath with eachother. A fewdays later, i saw the janitor. And of course, it was none other than Mario Tortellinie. "DA FUQ!" I screamed. When i went back to my house, I heard some strange noise in the bathroom. It was Mario Tortellinie taking a shit. " I. HATE. YOU!!!!!". Then he jumped out the window. A few months later,My girlfriend and I had a wedding. When we got there, The guy who says "You may fuck the slut!" was.......... MARIO TORTELLIINIE!!!!!!!! I took my knife out of my pocket and stabbed him in the heart. I got arrested. When i went to jail, I was masturbating to my girlfriend (apparently, she got arrested too). then i heard a voice outside the door "want to eat my shit?". We put our clothes on and we opened the door. It was Mario. Holding a penis flamethrower. "Bye bye, Fucker.".
TO BE CONTINUED.